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So, I’m finally learning the Jedi mind trick. I found this guy on craigslist who claims to be a direct descendant of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I was a little skeptical at first, but almost instantly I was quite willing to send him a significant amount of money (this little bit of information is between you and me; you don’t need to ell-tay the ife-way).

In his craigslist ad, it says he’s trained all of the great mind manipulators, from Jimmy Swaggart to Lady Gaga, in the art of “highly persuasive command.” I figured that sort of skill could come in very handy, which is why I’ve always wanted to learn the technique.

It’s really not as difficult as you’d think, at least not for me. But my instructor says I’m a natural and that the Force is very strong with me, so he says he’ll teach me some of the more advanced tricks, for an additional fee.

I made a promise to myself, however, that, when I learned the Jedi mind trick, I would use it for purposes of good, at least until we’ve completed the Death Star; then, I make no guarantees. For now, I’m stockpiling cosmic karma by using my new skill to convince you to enter the Plant Services Best Practices Awards for Safety, or any of the other categories, for that matter. But safety is important. We’ve come a long, long way in making the plant environment safer, but we can do more. And some plants already are. They’ve created programs that other facilities can learn from to make the plant and the work environment safer.

You have done this, haven’t you? Your plant is safe. It includes an excellent safety program that was implemented successfully and has had an incredibly positive effect. You will click on this link - – to go directly to the entry form, which you will take 5 minutes to complete and submit. If you want additional information on the awards, you will visit

You will enter now because this is the best time to do it, while it’s fresh in your mind. You will discover a spring in your step after you enter, as you walk around the plant, dizzy with the possibility that you might win the prestigious award. The very idea of it is almost intoxicating.

Click on that link now. Do it. You will enter the Plant Services Best Practices Awards. May the Force be with you.